When you love someone who has walked away, every instinct tells you to do something, anything, to get them back. Unfortunately, the things our hearts urge us to do in those first raw weeks are often the very things that push an ex further away. I see it every day in my work: good, loving people who made their situation harder without meaning to.
I am Prof Nahabu, a psychic, spell caster and traditional healer, and I have helped many people reconcile with former partners. Spiritual work can open the door, but your actions decide whether you walk through it gracefully. Here are the five mistakes to avoid when trying to get your ex back, and what to do instead.
Get Guidance Before You Act – WhatsApp1. Chasing Too Much
Calling repeatedly, sending message after message, turning up at their work or home: chasing makes an ex feel pressured, and pressure makes people retreat. Even if they still love you, being chased can make them defensive and push them to prove to themselves that they made the right choice.
Instead: step back. Give them room to miss you. Silence, used wisely, can speak louder than a hundred messages.
2. Acting Out of Emotion
Angry texts at midnight, tearful voice messages, posts on social media aimed at your ex, or flirting with someone else to make them jealous. These moments feel satisfying for a few minutes and then cause lasting damage. They show your ex the very side of the relationship they wanted to escape.
Instead: when emotion surges, write the message in a notebook, not your phone. Talk to a friend, take a walk or message me. Respond only when you are calm.
3. Ignoring the Real Problem
Many people focus on getting their ex back without asking why the relationship ended. If the real cause, such as jealousy, poor communication, money stress, family interference or a lack of commitment, is not addressed, the relationship may come back only to break again.
Instead: look honestly at what went wrong on both sides. A reading can show the deeper cause you may not be seeing.
4. Moving Too Fast
Even when an ex starts responding warmly, rushing back into the old relationship can be a mistake. Pushing for a commitment, a label or a big conversation too early can make them feel trapped again.
Instead: let trust rebuild step by step. A friendly coffee before a heavy conversation; warmth before decisions.
5. Not Seeking Guidance
Trying to read every sign alone leads to confusion and mistakes. Friends mean well, but they are not neutral, and they cannot see what your ex truly feels.
Instead: get clear guidance. A reading shows how your ex feels, what is blocking reconciliation and the right timing for each step. You can learn about my psychic relationship guidance.
The heart wants to act immediately. Love usually rewards those who act wisely.
Why People Make These Mistakes
Breakups trigger fear: fear of loneliness, of rejection, of losing someone forever. Fear makes us grab, plead and react. Understanding that these urges are normal helps you forgive yourself for past mistakes and make calmer choices from now on. If you have already made some of these mistakes, do not panic. Many of my clients have, and still reconciled.
The Importance of Emotional Control
Emotional control is not about pretending you do not care. It is about choosing how to show that you care. Calm, kind and confident behaviour is attractive; desperation is not. When your ex sees that you are coping, healing and growing, it reminds them of the person they fell in love with.
Focus on Rebuilding Yourself
The time apart is also a time for you. Rest, exercise, reconnect with friends, take up something that makes you feel alive. This is not a trick; it genuinely changes your energy, and your ex will feel that change. Many clients combine this personal rebuilding with spiritual support such as love spells.
What You Should Do Instead
- Pause. Stop contact for a while if things are heated.
- Reflect. Understand what really went wrong.
- Get clarity. A reading shows how your ex feels and when to act.
- Reconnect gently. Light, warm contact at the right moment.
- Rebuild. Let trust grow before discussing the future.
If you are in Australia, my guides on how to get your ex back in Adelaide and my love spells in Australia hub explain how I help locally.
Why Patience Matters
Reconciliation rarely happens in a straight line. There may be warm days followed by quiet ones. Patience lets the process unfold without you undoing your progress. Two articles can help you through this stage:
An Honest Word
Spiritual work and good advice can greatly improve your chances, but no one can guarantee another person's choices. What I can tell you is that most of my clients do receive the results they hoped for, and I will always tell you the truth about your situation.
Get Honest Guidance About Your Ex